updates and jibberish

I havent had much time on the computer lately if you hadnt picked up on that. I have found some things I wanted to get done, re-organizing my traditional scrap supplies is one of them. Its taking me forever but I made pretty good progress with it today. I want everything ready for me to create once Im out of surgery. That entire week I am taking a break from everything and just spending a little bit of time focusing on me. Yeah I say that now but come time it wont happen. I dont know how to let things go and especially put myself ahead of anything. But I am working on some pieces for next Tuesdays download already.
Tomorrow is Courtneys last day of school. Then begins the "When can I go back to school?" "I want to go to school" I hear every single weekend, this time I get to hear it ALL SUMMER LONG!!! heaven help me! In the morning shes having a 'ceremony' according to the letter that was sent home. Im assuming its an awards/graduation type thing. I cant believe my baby has finished her first year of school and will be in Kindergarten in the fall!!!
I met up with the surgeon yesterday. The nurse gave me a nice long lecture on my smoking habit. As she was listening to my lungs she asked me how old I was. When I told her 24 she seemed shocked. According to her my smoking has made my lungs sound a lot older. She gave me tidbits on my risks that were increased by smoking. A lot of them I wasnt aware of. A few of them I am already high risk for due to heredity, so Im trying to quit. I started out doing really good today and tonight I got extremely nervous and am not sure why. So I've wound up ruining all my hard work not lighting up earlier in the day.
My surgery has been scheduled for June 13th. He wanted to do it sooner but that was the only day that I could get a sitter. I go two days before to do all the pre-op stuff. Im actually not as nervous as I thought I would be, but then again its still a while off. My biggest concern is that I will go in expecting a laporascopic surgery and come out with my whole side stapled shut. But also in a way I am looking forward to it. That sounds really weird but I know afterwards I'll not have to worry about another heartwrenching attack. I just hope I dont have another one between now and then, the bills are racking up quickly for my ER visits and my insurance only 'allows' 3 emergency room visits each year for the entire family. I have already used 2 of those. Im not sure Blaines was turned in on our insurance due to the workers comp things. But I am still expecting a nasty letter from the insurance telling me that "while the emergency room is the best place to go for emergencies (duh) you should try to schedule an appointment to see a doctor instead" Anyway...just needed to get that off my chest...Hope everyone is having a great week and I'll update again whenever I can catch a break!

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